Ask Amy: We donât drink but get stuck with the tab
Dear Amy: My husband and I frequently go out for dinner with my brother and sister-in-law.
Sometimes her sister and husband will join us.
They are all drinkers, and we are not. (They usually have more than one drink).
I don’t think it is fair that we pay for their alcohol every time we go out, but my husband and I both feel awkward asking for a separate check.
I did ask once for them to buy their drinks before being seated, but that idea didn’t fly.
Would love your thoughts on this sensitive issue.
– Non-Drinker
Dear Non-Drinker: This isn’t really that sensitive an issue, and you should not shy away from stating your own need and desire to go out, enjoy a meal, and pay for your meal separately.
If the other two couples want to co-mingle their charges and split the cost down the middle, that’s up to them.
You can ask the server directly: “Could you prepare a separate check for the two of us?”
There is no need to dive into the awkwardness or explain this to the other diners. Your friends should accept your choice, resume ordering their meals, and not give it another thought.
You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.